Bye Bye 2011

To an year where nothing much really happened, besides adding heavily to the list of "should have". The only effort that I'll probably be making in 2012, is to not make any efforts. #paradox1. But then life was such in 2011, kept throwing back paradoxes at me. Anyways, for a person like me who constantly suffers from Analysis paralysis, making less effort is the least I can do. #paradox2. For instance this rant, which is/will be devoid of any proper punctuations.

Its been lovely 2 months at my mum's place with her and my baby girl. To be honest, I don't even remember how time flew by. All, I seem to remember is what my gynae said sometime in June "She is a small baby, we need to get the baby out as soon as possible". I shed a few tears not knowing why was she a small baby. What went missing.
Not that this judging myself has ended in any way. I know I am not "the perfect mother", but here she is, 6 months old, vibrant and a joy to each one of my days. I love her.

Its time to head back now. I start off 2012 with no plans, only hopes. Hoping that its a better one.

Firing

Firing people does not feel good, even if they had been bad workers. Whewww.
(just fired my maid and sent her off :( )

Rambling

Little fingers
Touch
Grasp me
And not let me go.

A slight squeal
Melts
Weeps
And drains life

Little feet
Kick
Quick
Everything disappears.

A faint smile,
Oozes,
Fairy like,
Come back again.

Cant eat this cant eat that

no chilli, no cold things, not even a day s old curd, no sour things.
:)

Milk

I never liked Milk.
Seeding through the internet articles on baby gas, colic, foreMilk, hindMilk, reflux, burping bla bla bla.

still trying to figure it out :(
Some useful links for nursing moms:
Finish the First Breast First
and
Foremilk Hindmilk Imbalance
and
Colic, What can you do about it

Rain Rain go away

There is no sun, no sunshine.
Everything is wet and damp and cold.
Even my warm cup of milk at 4 in the morn does not stay warm enough.
and I hate it.
:(
waiting for summers already

My Angel

"Magic is all around you", thats what the horoscope reading for Librans said yesterday.
I turned around in my bed half asleep and I saw you.

- to my 1 month old baby girl.

No Room

No room, no room, the brain cries out.
It dint lie, there was no room left.
There's plenty of room, said Alice indignantly

Have some sleep, the Brain said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, there was everything on it but sleep.
There isn't any, said the Brain.

week 35 and its tough allright.

What the F*** is wrong

So I wake up today to this news in Indian Express.
FEMALE FOETICIDE A NATIONAL EPIDEMIC
A new study on sex selective abortions to be released in Medical Journal LANCET.
Claims that female foeticide has spread from a handful of states to most parts of the country.

GOT MONEY, WILL KILL
Mothers with 10 or more years of education went for such abortions than those with no education.
Similar trend in richer households.
They are also slightly greater in urban areas.

Reason: They are more aware of ultrasound and abortion services and can afford them more readily than uneducated or poorer household.

SHAME ON SUCH WOMEN.

SPREADING WEB
Remarkable shift in population living in states where the child sex ratios are below 915; rising from 10% in 1991 to 27% in 2001, and 56% in 2011. Simply put, most of the India's population now lives in states where selective abortion of girls is common.

This disturbs me to hell. I am upset by this news. Whats wrong with HUMANITY.

LAW INEFFECTIVE
The Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act, 1996, which claims to prevent the misuse of techniques for the purpose of prenatal sex determination, has been largely ineffective.

It makes me angry.
Is there nothing anyone can do about it?

Does'nt everything

I mean everything,
after a while.
Become mundane,
almost irritating.

Work,
Family,
Food,
Home.

That reminds me,
the cook has taken off today.
Hmmm

Continuum

Empty pages like the droopy eyes,
Withered, and tired.
Almost drugged seeing heaven.
Seeing you , living breathing.

Sad empty full open close.
Aware awake alarmed, alas!
When is a book finished?
Or when do you start living?

started by me, completed by S

I suck at Multitasking

Eve

It moves inside
Slowly hinting
Embracing the core
The union.

-third trimester

In the face

Damn, why am I so angry at everyone.
Grrrr I see punching bags in the face of so many people
I want to hit

One tight slap would do.
On the face of my boss
On the face of my maid
On the face of my cook
On the face of my neighbor

till my hands get tired.
Thats right my hands are not tired
Thats why I am so angry at everyone.

Deviated

Look, I am just a deviation.
I plan not, never could.
But I try not to distort.
The basic structure of things.
Aint difficult to explain, you see.
I do not bite, I only sting.

(acrylics on paper)

Vortex of your Eye

Acrylics on Canvas
Available for sale
painted using fingers (no brushes used)

Happy Valentines Day

A 2 minute bath,
Lock the door.
9 floors down,
Brush the hair,
Wear the watch,
43 seconds gone.
Exact 3 pills,
Pop 1 2 and 3.
1 missed call.

2 minutes and he'll be gone.

Slow down today. Wish you all a very happy Belated Valentine's Day.

Homeward Bound

My Parents place to be more accurate.

The week looks manageable, but not as good as what it is, at home.

Fruit Punch acrylics on canvas

Rant

This does not looks like a good start to 2011 professionally. Slow change in senior leadership which started last year end and slowly trickling down. Today reached the level which it directly impacts what I work on.
Not feeling too happy about it.
And on a separate note, feeling that I am slowly becoming a slave of consumerism.
Wondering how needs and desires transform into one another. Hoping they are reversible in my case.
Are they ?